One thing I have learned in life, is that fear cripples us.
I came to know the Lord during my teen years. Before coming to Christ, two things I struggled with were doubt and fear. I thought I would never be able to believe. I was depressed with no faith. I didn't know if God was real. The devil used doubt to try and blind me from the hope, truth and love that was in Christ. I was fearful of the unknown, fearful of death, illness, evil powers, you name it. It came to the point where I could barely sleep at night. Negative thoughts constantly bombarded my mind. Doubts kept creeping up on me, making me feel as if there was no hope in this world for me. I had seen a close family member battle with depression and it became worse over time. I feared that would be my future.
One night, after feeling overwhelmed with fear and doubt, I cried out to God on my knees and asked him, if He was real to help me. I asked him to give me peace of mind, so I could at least sleep and not feel so fearful and depressed. That night was miraculous. I got back into bed, closed my eyes, and when I opened my eyes it was morning. I remember feeling so well rested and feeling an indescribable peace. I had not felt that way in a very long time. I knew instantly that God had heard my prayer.
That small, answered prayer gave me the tiny bit of faith I needed to believe that God was real. It was this small breakthrough that caused me to yearn for more of God. I began to read his word more each week. Eventually, this led to my salvation. To make a long story short. The enemy would come back with doubtful thoughts, and I would struggle with fear at times; but I soon found the solution was always in God's Word. God's word became my everything. I began studying the Bible. I started posting scriptures in my room; scriptures that would help me overcome doubt and fear. My favorite verse soon became 2 Timothy 1:7. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind.”
This scripture spoke volumes to me. It helped me identify where my fear was coming from. I realized that it was not God’s will for me to be afraid, but that fear was a tool of the enemy being used to cripple me. I realized that instead, God wanted me to feel powerful through him and not powerless. He wanted me to feel loved and secure. Finally, God wanted me to have peace of mind, to be mentally strong and stable. In other words, it was God’s will for me to be in my right mind.
This word of knowledge from the Bible, broke the devil’s chains that held my mind in captivity. Today, this passage of scripture remains my favorite. When I find myself constantly bombarded with a world filled with instability, fear, evil and turmoil. I remind myself that “God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power and love, and of a sound mind.”
I know that no matter how bad things get, as long as I have Christ, I have nothing to fear. When the problems of this world make me feel powerless, I know that with God I have the power to move mountains. When the world feels dark, lonely, and as if no one cares, I can rest assured that God’s love surrounds me like a sea and that He gives me purpose. Finally, when the world has been turned upside down, and has gone crazy, I know that I will not follow suit. Instead, I know that God, The Lord Jesus Christ, who has held the universe together for thousands of years, is holding me altogether. He gives me power, love, and a sound mind.
I encourage you to study the Bible. When God's word fills your mind and soul, the doubts and fears of the enemy will hold no power over you. You will crush the enemy with the power of God within you. "Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world" 1 John 4:4. Find a Bible believing church. One that really believes every word of the Bible. God has a plan for you. Today, I can testify that after over 20 years of giving my life to Christ, it is the best decision I ever made. I am now a wife and mother of wonderful children. The stories of God's goodness throughout the years in my life would take hours to tell. I just encourage you, don't ever give up on Christ. He is the way, the truth, and the life. He is the one who has formed you and put you here for His purpose. You can find that purpose in His word.